I didn’t get into UC Davis.
One down, and three to go. Well, I have another application I will be turning in later this month, but it’s a different plan of study (my backup).
Laying my head on his chest as we watched dry British humor on TV, I let it out, “I didn’t get in UC Davis.” I felt embarrassed, it was like I was admitting to being dumb, but I needed to say it. I may have actually shrieked into him after those words came out. He held me close, and then…
“That’s okay. You only need one.”
I raised myself up. There was something familiar to the manner he said that, to be quite frank, just the words he chose were eerily familiar to me. I looked at him, quizzical, searching for the answer on his calm demeanor.
“You sound like someone I knew…”
“The Italian?” He was smiling.
Hello pink elephant.
We never talk about him. I think he knows it’s not something I don’t like to talk about. Besides… they’re best friends. It’s an awkward situation all around. But he was right, those words were the words of The Italian.
A trembling whipper came through my lips, “Yes…”
We are now addressing the pink elephant in the room. This pink elephant has been haunting me every time we get together.
He smiled and said, “Yeah, we’re both very pragmatic… we are best friends.”
Well, the pink elephant and its purple colored tutu are ‘okay’ with whatever it is we were.
Anyhow, he was right, I only do need one. I’m bound to get in where I belong, where I will succeed. But, if you’re part of the UC Davis Graduate School admissions office, you have missed out on a great opportunity… Me.
February 26, 2014
Update: Yesterday I received the last letter from the schools to which I applied to. I unfortunately didn’t make the cut. I can’t say that I’m not hurt, or a bit lost, because I am, truly, truly numb.
I fell down, but I’ll find my footing and get up again.