I am sure most of you are settling into bed right now, and I don’t blame you. I would love to cozy up to my multiple shape pillows and dog for the night like I have many a nights… but I can’t. I will start with this post as a prelude. As you know I was grooms woman at my best friends wedding, it took place in Bloomington, IN, I went alone, and I have been forced to interact in a group of married/coupled people. I obviously came back alive to tell about it, but not without some emotional scars. Don’t get me wrong, I had a ball; I mean, I was with my best friend and his absolutely lovely fiancee who I love dearly, but I was the single girl, and not even the bar keep could help… seriously, I tried.
I love helping, and love organizing things; making lists, following schedules, hell! I’m a virgo through and through! Before leaving home I printed out the itinerary… I mean, what kind of a grooms woman would I be if I didn’t have the groom where he should be at all times, and keep others in line (yeah, I kinda stepped in as best man, but honestly both groom and bride were thankful I did). I got to the hotel with enough time to unwind, take a bath (something I never get to do at home because I feel like I don’t have the time), and calmly took my time to get dressed for the rehearsal, which would be immediately followed by the rehearsal dinner. I helped my best friend iron out his outfit, and we got on our way. Rehearsal was great, except I was constantly being told by the girlfriend not to get too friendly with the best man who was walking me and the matron of honor down the aisle. Ummm, yeah, that was okay the first time she said it, but not every single time she saw me. I am no man stealer, life is short, and to be frank, men lose their appeal to me once they have a girlfriend. I was glued t0 the bride and groom for most of the night. I was the only single girl there… even the most annoying guy managed to get a girlfriend and convince her to drive with him the 18 hours from Miami to Indiana! Okay, okay, okay, I know I sound bitter, but I think I am allowed to vent (trust me, you would feel the same way if you knew this kid).
I was cordially invited to the bachelor party festivities. Why? The groom would not have it any other way, besides, I am like one of the guys. I was quickly approached by the bride and all the girlfriends to please keep an eye on their boyfriends and to keep it as respectable as possible. When did I become that kind of girl? We headed to a bar, heard a great cover band, and then on to the strip club… yeah another one (I’m on a roll this year with those). This strip club was nothing like Miami! The girls were plain, but had a sweet face that I could see through their much needed unbrushed hair (seriously, they looked like they hadn’t brushed their hair in five days). On a side note, I have NEVER seen so many red heads! I did keep tabs on the groom, I made sure he stopped drinking once I saw the glare in his eyes, and the “I’m tired beyond belief” look. He had a great time, and so did the rest of the guys, they apparently got their excitement from the attention I was getting from the girls. We headed back to the hotel, got water bottles from the lobby and headed to my best friends room. I made sure he was okay, and kept drinking before I told him that I would be back early in the morning to get things in order and keep him hydrated, I also had a little exfoliating for his face courtesy of YSL products.
I came the next morning, and helped him out of his room and placed all his stuff in mine (he forgot he had to check out at noon, and didn’t have the other room for when he and his bride would finally see each other again, yeah, they were playing that traditional card). I played keep away from one another the entire day, sending off army hand signals when we would walk around the hotel they were both staying in. I gotta say, I may have a future in that.
My best friend and I had a great afternoon together; we took a long walk, talked, shared thoughts, and had a a great little light lunch before we headed to the wedding site.
At the wedding site, I was the liaison between bride and groom, the only one allowed to mingle in between both parties without reproach. I helped the bride with hair, and anything she need, which mostly consisted of me hunting down the incapable wedding planner and telling her what she needed to be doing. I took my pictures with the grooms men and A LOT with the groom. I think the photographers where loving the fact that I was the girl in a party of men. I rarely mingled, I was more preoccupied with the needs of my friends; bride and groom. Besides, I really didn’t have anyone to mingle with, I was the lone bird without a pair, and so running around and checking on everyone and everything was a natural and good distraction from this. Well, all good things must come to an end.
After the ‘I do’s’, they were reunited and apparently, it felt so good! They were happy! I was happy! And then, I was alone. I had one full dance, and two half dances. Apparently the DJ had a string of couple songs playing, and I can’t and won’t dance them alone! The Platters, The Righteous Brothers, etc. I had previously mentioned that I would seek the company of the barkeep should things get bad in my single state. SoI went and decided to ask the cute bar keep to dance (the bride said it was okay, and to do whatever I wanted… I love her). Turns out we danced for half a dance before we sat down, and then… I realized he was gay. I have nothing against gay men, but when a girl is grasping at straws not to feel alone, that is the last thing she needs to have around, atleast me. He was more interested in sitting down and talking, and flipping his luscious blonde hair out of his eyes. I threw my cards downs and decided to fold. I decided to go somewhere to reflect on what it was that I felt. I felt like crying.
I know, Know, there’s no crying in weddings. Or is that baseball?? I just felt that social pressure of where I should be, at least socially; with a boyfriend/husband/or fiancé. I have none. I have none because I haven’t found someone who I think I deserve to be with, who gets me excited about things, who loves to hear me talk about science, and news, and politics, and share all of their thoughts with me. Am I being too picky? Am I reaching for some unrealistic expectation? Has Disney completely screwed me over???
I can handle being singe, it’s just harder to handle it when everyone else is not, and you are the odd man out… the odd man out who can’t even get the barkeep.
But, like the true rationalist that I am, atleast at that moment, I told myself that I came here to see my friend marry the one he loved, and share in that experience. All that other stuff is just petty.
Well, at least until it creeps into my everyday life in different ways. Stay tuned.