Welcome back to another ‘Women 101 ‘ segment! Today I’d like to touch on a very important subject that I wish for men to take in, reflect on, and apply. Like everything in life, we must apply it. What’s the good of knowing how to give a BJ on a banana if you never try it out on the real thing? Got your attention? Good, let’s start.
I know we like to think that life will be like the movies, and that’s alright. The thing is, we also have to know when to say “okay, cut the crap, we know that’s not really going to happen.”
The handsome guy is sitting on one end of the couch with the girl he has been seeing for less then six months (hell, it could one month). He has the ‘I’m going to say something that you might not like look’ on his face.
Guy– “I Don’t think this is working out. I really care about and always will… but I think we are better off as friends.”
Girl’s face starts to tear up (to a guy she only dated briefly) and instinctively lowers her head because she doesn’t want him to see her hurt/devastated.
Girl-” … I understand…”
Guy– “Are we okay? Are YOU okay?”
Girl starts to quietly shed tears
Girl– “We are. I am.”
Now, what is wrong with this picture? Well for starters most guys now a days don’t even have the decency to do these things in public, or even on the phone. Nope. This probably will happen over a text. Next we have the girl crying over a guy she briefly dated. Call me crazy, but we women take time to look nice, and sometimes the best mascara isn’t water proof. So why would we want to create gooey splotches on our face? I have been here, and let me tell you right now that no tears were shed, and I definitely didn’t lower my head, I stared that sucker right in the eyes (this one guy I’m talking about decided to break it off just as I was telling him I wanted to end it first, hence why it was done inperson. Men, they really gotta feel like the own the situation don’t they?).
About this time during the movie the girl will leave and then maybe by the end of the movie the guy will realize that he shouldn’t have gone and broken things off with her. This is why it’s called a movie, this rarely happens. Once it’s over, it’s usually over.
So let’s put this plainly-
When you (a guy) is breaking things off with a girl, or letting her know that you don’t seriously consider dating her don’t for the sake of your life ask her, “Are YOU okay?” Because sorry to put it to you like this, but our sole happiness did not lie entirely with you.
I can understand if you think this is considerate approach, but in all honesty it comes off insulting. We are fine, we were before we met you and we will after. We are resilient, we accept things and move on. We don’t ask every guy we sleep with for validation on our breast, or vagina like men tend to do with their penises, so believe us we are fine.
Like I told one guy when he pulled this kind of shenanigan on me.
Italian– “Are You okay?” – with this look like he’s going to tell me that Bambi’s mother died.
Me- “Yeah. Why? Are YOU okay??”
We looked at each other for a couple of seconds of awkward silence. His face looked perplexed.
Me- “I’m sorry, were you expecting me to shed a tear here?
He was speechless
Me-” Okay, well, I’ll see you around. Bye!”
I smiled, gave him a pat on the back, and left. There were no tears, and look at me now, still living! Go figure.
So men, don’t. Don’t do that condescending “Are YOU okay?” with us, because we are fine, we are fabulous.
Have a great Friday loves!