Oh, the glory that is Summer; the green grass, the school buses are no longer creating traffic on weekdays, and the pressure to work-out for that much wanted late in the season beach body is upon us. There is one last thing, it is also wedding season. There is no way to avoid the dresses that align the department stores with this season in mind. They’re everywhere.
The last wedding I recall going to I served as a grooms-woman. As I remember, I went alone… worst mistake I have ever made. Yes, the worse than that time I jokingly made the comment to have a guy go through the back door. I remember feeling utterly alone, not a soul to share in the moment with. I ended up going up to a bedroom in the mansion where the reception was being held and trying to wish it all to be over soon. I promised myself then and there that I would not be going to another wedding alone. Well, this time around I was ready. I had early on coaxed my best friend to ready himself to be my date if it was possible, and thankfully he managed. The wedding in question was last Saturday, and my best girl friend was the victim… I mean bride. I really don’t mean victim, but sometimes I feel like all my single friends and I are deer in the woods and there comes a hunter ready to take another one away leaving me meadow with grass in my mouth asking myself what the hell just happened.
This wedding was a year in the making, and if you have been married and planned it all (with all the bells and whistles) in less than a year then you deserve a medal. There is a shit ton that needs to be done! I knew this but never really understood it until I had to be part of the whole thing. My girl friend in question I have previously referred her here as Martha Stewart (because she is freaking phenomenal just like her), and she was kind enough to ask me to be her maid of honor. The request left me in awe and scared, mostly scared really. When it comes to being that girl who is going to be thinking about which ribbon looks best with those flowers and whether or not butterflies should be released as the couple says “I do”, I fail miserably. I’m not that girl. I’ll be the girl to get you what you want and handle whomever you’d like, that’s me, unfortunately, I am not the burlap and twine kind of girl and this was a burlap and twine type of wedding.
The take down of my girl friend from single or even engaged to married has left me feeling incredibly vulnerable… they’re all heading that way, aren’t they? They’re all going to be mounted on some hunter’s cabin. I have two more weddings to attend this year and they are both in October. Oddly enough the one I served grooms-woman in, the then bride is getting remarried. I don’t remember getting the memo telling me to find a man and then make it official, but then again I don’t want children so that memo was thrown out on my own accord. However, here I feel like I am slowly going to have to adapt to my new surroundings. I say this because I don’t have an urge to want to find someone. Not right now, and I don’t know when that will be, if ever. What makes things a little more uncomfortable is that they dynamic of my friendships will change a bit and I worry I won’t know how to deal with it appropriately. I might, in all honesty, become a hermit (with HBO and three dogs of course). I could also be in need of my medication and this is causing some major imbalance in my head. Have any of you felt this way?
There were lessons learned in this wedding though:
- I will never use burlap or twine in my life again.
- My best friend was the BEST date I could have ever asked for. Don’t know what I’ll do when he’s off and married too.
- The movie Bridesmaids has to be based on a true story because I was Kristen Wiig and a gigantic red head with no manners portrayed Rose Byrne.
- Forget duct tape, double sided tape will save lives.
- Spanx are AMAZING.
- I have no rhythm and I am a disgrace to my hispanic heritage.
I wish my Martha the best in her new life with her man, he’s great. She was sweet and send me a pic the other day from her honeymoon of the only kind of man I’d want to see; a large naked man with a perfect body. In other words, it was Michelangelo’s David 😉