We are starting 2014 with a BANG. That’s right, I have decided to take this subject by the hair, I mean horns, yes…
I’m not sure what is going on in our culture, but at times it appears (to me at least) that men are losing the intimacy that is required when having sex/making love/or whatever other thing your girlfriend calls it. There have been times where I sincerely feel like a camera crew, along with their lighting equipment will come falling out of the poorly closed closet and ask if we can “do that again”.
So I am here to set the record straight on some misconception men might have.
- Foreplay is NEEDED– I understand that in porn the woman just walks in the door, and two shots later is bent over and completely into the man she just met- two shots ago. THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Women need to be courted, yes a slight pre-sex courting is needed (also known as foreplay). Whether it’s cuddling on the couch and stroking her back, or telling her she is beautiful as you burn dinner because you are so mesmerized by her beauty (that’s the reason you can give her for the burnt dinner, don’t worry we’ll buy it), it is needed. The importance of knowing that you are wanted physically needs to demonstrated. So kiss, hold hands, stroke her hair, or wrestle, whatever your, and her taste may be, do it. You’ll benefit from this… trust me.
- Communication– Sleeping with someone for the first time is nerve wrecking for a woman, it might be different from a man, as I understand it they are more excited than nervous. So not only is it important to know who you are jumping in bed with, but it is also important that you feel comfortable talking to them or letting them know that their silence is leading you to believe that either; a) fell asleep b) counting sheep in order to last longer, or c) not really into it at all. I would advise that you stay away from porn’s fake grunting and dirty talk. Neither one of those two let you know anything, except that you watch lots of porn.
- If She Can Do Crunches in Missionary, You’re Doing it Wrong– Okay, I am going to put myself out there and say has actually happened to me. The whole point (once you get a little bit older and wiser) of ‘this’ is because that want to connect in a a more intimate way. So please, please explain to me why you would allow yourself to perform this intimate act as if you were doing a push-up?? The actual distance created literally allows for the woman to do crunches, and this is not going to happen… we want to look thin, not show you where we need to tone up! Get close! This is completely unacceptable, unless this is your first time then you are forgiven… nope, not really.
- Take Charge– One of the wonderful things about being a woman is having a man who reminds you that you are one. We like to surprised, we like to be taken care of, so do so in the bedroom! Don’t worry, we will do it too, but let us know that you are into us and that you WANT us. Once again this isn’t porn so don’t think we are talking about the take charge that includes cuffs, blind folds, or a safety word. That is for a special occasion, or theatrical reenactment of Fifty Shades of Gray.
- The Cuddle– This is totally up to you and your partner, but there is something so blissful about just laying there with the person you love/care for. There doesn’t need to be an engulfing kind of cuddle, but knowing that you are both there together and blissfully happy (let’s hope) is one of the few things that truly can make a moment a wonderful one.
So please, please take into consideration what has been noted the next time you enjoy some afternoon delight.