Happy Monday everyone! We are back in the grind here, and I can’t help but think where in the world did my weekend go?! I had some pretty awesome plans; I was going to go to the driving range and hit a couple of balls with a girl friend of mine, drink, write, and cook- yes I was going to cook, and Pinterest was going to be my guide. But sadly my plans where foiled by my baby boy, Landon (the apple of my eye).
Landon for the last two days had been trying to ‘eat his butt’ until Saturday when I woke up to bloody covers on the side of the bed where Landon usually sleeps on. Since he is a well taken care of pup and has insurance that I happily pay for I took him to the vet ASAP. After two hours of waiting, probing, and having him constantly muzzled, the verdict was- he had really bad dermatitis. Due to him being super furry, and this being Miami, humidity is his worst enemy. The veterinary assistant came in with Landon’s treatment plan… and the price tag. Well, there is no price on love, and so, the money I was going to use to go shopping went for Landon to have his butt shaved, two injections in the buttocks, meds, medicated shampoo, the cleaning of his glands (which by the way I almost puked it smelled so bad!), and a new toy for the brave little patient.
The funny thing about this was Landon took it like a man. Even now, he walks with the same confident air that he did when he didn’t have his entire butt on display. I bought a bottle of wine, because after having a slew of people ask me what the hell was wrong with my dog’s behind, I needed a bottle, you know, to use as a weapon for hitting them over the head when I was finished with it. But this brought memories of the time I had a friend of mine wax his chest hair…
CR and I met his freshman year of college; he was a gorgeous, athletic guy, with no chest hair, or back hair,or in any other annoying place. But as the years went on, he started sprouting chest hair, and some strays around his shoulders. He is the kind of guy who apparently growing older, showing wrinkles on his face, and having too much chest or back hair was something that he is having a problem with dealing. But let’s keep this to the chest hair.
CR knew that I like to go have my grooming taken care of by a professional who pours wax over it, and bam! All gone. My results have always been great, so he asked if he should go where I go to get it waxed off.
Well, the thing he didn’t know was that I couldn’t wait to hear him whimper. Sadistic? I like to call it ‘ All in good fun’… well, my fun at least.
Now, I of course drove us there, and CR looked as nervous as man could possibly be when faced with uncharted territory. I told him it wouldn’t hurt a bit. I actually enjoyed the experience…masochistic? I say, I have a high pain tolerance.
CR walks in, the lady tells him to go in the room, and I sit outside in the waiting room. I am no more than 30 seconds in the waiting room that the lady tells me that my friend would like it if I were there with him.
I walk in to find my friend lying in on the table acting as though someone told him that they were going to remove one of his balls. He asked me to stay with him. I was happy to. Better seat I say. I held his hand and with every slab of wax that was spread over his muscular chest, I prepped my hand to be squeezed.
CR maybe voiced surprise/pain twice during the entire ordeal, but my hand felt it the entire time. After it was over he stood up, the white paper cover was drenched, and parts were stuck to his back. After we left and got back to his apartment he showed me his ever manly hairless chest…. it was full of red bumps.
He had a reaction to the wax, and apparently there were some ingrown hairs to boot. He swore off waxing, and covered himself up. I laughed, tried to make the best of it, but laughed non-the less.
As I sat there drinking my wine, I looked at Landon. I never had to hold him down. And he can’t even put pants onto cover his butt.
CR, if you read this; I love you, and you know that was a funny day… mostly for me 🙂