I may well be in complete denial here, and I understand that… but I am having a hard time accepting the person looking back at me in pictures as the same person looking back at me in the mirror! As previously mentioned I have a slight problem with BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), and even though I have been trying really hard to overcome my over checking of body parts, and covering up and looking like a pile of movable clothes, and most importantly not comparing myself to every woman I see (she’s taller, better nose, perfect skin, can she she my scars??), and the paranoia I feel about people looking at me, I can’t accept what I see in pictures.
Is that really me?
I don’t think so.
When did I get so…
I look in the mirror and I see someone different. I hope that I am not the only one who feels this way, I truly hope that this is just a ‘normal’ thing. I would like to put this is my “Turning 3o is making me crazy” box. But is it? I have three months. Three months to get myself together for me. I want to be able to look at myself and recognize myself, and most importantly love myself physically. I have been working hard, and have seen results in various areas of my life, but I just wish I could get it all together sooner… sadly my virtue was never patience. I really don’t want to see the professional pics from the wedding, I don’t know who that girl is!
But like many things in life I try to laugh about it.