Hello everyone! I know I have been missing in action for a couple of days, but this new job has me adjusting to a new schedule… you know, the grown-up schedule. I think this great, partly because it reminds me how much I don’t like being enclosed in a building doing something I am not passionate about (this is not to say that I am not happy, I am), and this only drives me more to push those graduate admissions offices’ last nerves into letting me in to their institution.
So I believe I will be making “Women 101” a staple to my topics. I am single and have knowledge to share from my time in the trenches when it comes to men, and well, as a single lady I can tell you the little things that matter to us, or annoy us, or make us say YES!
The green light. What is it you ask? Well, the green light is the signal that we women give off to the men we are dating/seeing/interested in/hooking-up with. It is the signal we give off that we want you to make your move, show you’re interested and, take charge like the men we see in those romantic comedies we love (even though they sometimes do it at the very end… it takes a man that long to figure it out in the movies too). We all have different manners in which express them; some very subtle and some not so very subtle (I am guilty of the latter, like Penny from The Big Bang Theory, “I’m a big old five”).
As of late I have been spending some of my time with gentleman who was kind enough to subside my intense need to be kissed a while back, let us call him John. John and I have a history, and like I’ve said before, me being a ‘big old five’ I am pretty sure I went ahead and initiated this relationship, or however you label it (labels will be addressed in another post) which in my believe does have a friendship in it, but also a ‘benefits’ side to it. The routine is usually the same: Hug/kiss, casually get into a more comfortable position while we discuss whatever we have in mind, and then me making the first move (because let’s be honest we both know what we eventually want). I have however not made a move on purpose on several occasions with the sole purpose of seeing whether or not he will. Outcome- he verbally implies that I can make a move.
After years of this, why is it that this man still needs to have the green light given to him every single time we see each other in the form of me physically gong for it (i.e. kiss, touch, full on straddle)? Why can’t he just be that man, the man who takes you and does that romantic manly thing which turns us women on? You know, take charge!
There is no reason why after years at this song and dance that he should have to wait. I told my friend Jill about this and I could see from the frustration in her face that this too is something she has encountered. “Once we give you a green light the first time, it stays green from then till we say so!”
This isn’t to say that we don’t have a grace period for you (men) to get your sea legs per se, but you have to understand that if you don’t make those moves we will move on to someone who we feel is more interested in us. I had a conversation with a couple of men about this. I don’t think the men I spoke to about this were the best kind of men (they are single yes, but they are socially awkward…around just about everyone). Excuses were made, the most infamous one being ‘shyness’. Listen here, after the third or fourth date you should know the kind of signals she is giving, especially if she is still obviously going out with you/ hooking up with/hanging out with you.
So here is the gist- Once you are given the green light, it’s always green until we say so. Don’t ask to kiss us if you have already done so and we reciprocated, don’t ask to touch our ‘boob’s’ (slang for breasts), and don’t imply in a verbal way for us to make the move (trust us, we do make it from time to time). Be the men we want! Take us in your arms and go for it! This does count as foreplay by the way.
Happy Hump Day! Now go and take a cue from one of those romantic comedies 😉