Yesterday I had breakdown, I thank the good lord that I was home when it happened because I was hot mess; black eye liner and mascara covered my face… kinda like a Pollock painting… splotches everywhere. I can’t really tell you what happened to my 20’s, or last week for that matter. I went to school and majored in English so that I could make a smooth transition to law school. That went to down the shit hole when I realized that lawyers tend to lie for a living…. I can’t and wont lie, especially to defend and abuse the rights of others. So then I know I moseyed on down to school again, for a second degree ( I am now 27) in anthropology. I finished . I had also helped my mom when she was diagnosed with cancer… being in the real workforce as the bread winner was another eye opener. I decided that I should really do what I love so that I don’t end up in the news as a crazed worker in Office Space. In six months I’ll hit a landmark, the age of 30, and here I am struggling to get in grad school, get those internships, pay my bills, all while working two jobs… I am tired and yesterday I hit a wall.
You know the urgency you have to get results, answers to your questions, or act before doom occurs? Well, that is how I was; I needed back-ups to my back-ups. I needed to get my ass in gear, to double up on my resumes, and make life decisions that would only have the option to render results…positive results.
I need a vacation.
I need to breathe, and run, and smile. I need to remember that I will be a success.
You see, after my mind was talked off the edge and given some tea along with a side of reason I remembered that I am a hard worker. I study, I read up on genetics, biology, and research articles. I have interned at at molecular and human genetics lab. Like Tina Fey says, “Bitches get stuff done.”
I need to remind myself that life is full of twists, and all I can do is my part. I’ll get there, and my path might have a couple of more hurdles… I’ll get a better ass in the end.
I have a concert this weekend, my first concert; Zac Brown Band. I will be going to Sarasota for some R&R the weekend of the 15th, and catch an art exhibit. And last but not least, take a whole week off… soon. We need to remember that we are only human and need to look outside and remember that it will all be okay.
The last time I had a brain free vacation was a couple of years ago in Sarasota with my friend JP. I need that again.
I hope you all have relaxing and positive start to your week! I know I will be taking a nice long run today, and everyday.