Dirty talk. Why is it that’s what men directly go to when fooling around or trying to get you to fool around (let me not get into the inconvenience it is when having sex!)? We (women) already know that men have sex on their mind in every free or not so free moment of their daily life, there is no need to let us know how many porn tapes you have seen and how you can reiterate their “conversation”… well, actually it’s usually more of a one way conversation, the poor girl is usually taking care of business.
Guy: “You want my dick in your wet pussy?”
Girl: Quizzical look on her face (because this doesn’t really turn us on) “Uhhh, I guess… sure”
Guy: “Tell me how bad you want it. You’re such a dirty girl!”
Girl: Looks at watch, inner sigh. “…”
Every man that I have intimately known has thrown this out there in the first couple of times we’ve fooled around/had sex. I am not saying that we don’t want this at all, but I am saying that there is a time for this and it is NOT after a couple of times of being together. The thing is this really really does nothing for us, and after hearing it a million odd times from all kinds of men, the same old redundant lines (porn writers need new material), we’d rather you kept it to a very minimum, or just express yourself physically (and NO, that does not mean push our heads to your “first lieutenant”…yeah, I had a guy call it that… I don’t know who the second was). Words spoil a moment where you should be connecting with a person, and talking to us like that out of the blue makes us wonder if you suffer from Turrets.
So when should men use dirty talk?
- When you have both decided to role play. You see, we don’t actually moonlight as porn stars so that kind of language is others wise reserved for special occasions and not every night.
- When we initiate it. Like I’ve said before, we know you like it, so unless you’re completely not feeling it we know you’ll take the opportunity to dish it right back.
Yep, only two. Now, I might be a bit harsh on only having two but there are seriously a few girls who constantly want to be talked to this way. I can’t remember Kevin Costner saying anything dirty to Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham (If you want to watch a great sex scene, I highly suggest that one…If there is a way to sweep a woman off her feet Kevin Costner is the man to show it). Here are the possible side effects of unwarranted dirty talk.
- You will never see us again. I have known women who have stopped completely their relationship with men because of they way they talk to them before and during sex. And yes, I am talking about the dirty talk they use.
- Boredom. We have heard every word that has come out of your mouth before and from other men too… and they are all the same! We don’t necessarily care for it, we might start to think about what we might wear tomorrow.
- We lose our libido. Women are tricky, I know, I am surprised at myself sometimes! It takes a bit of time for us to get to the same place it took you 10 seconds. Dirty talk can quickly send us back to square one. Why? Because we have to want it!
- Laughter. I am not talking about the good kind that you both would share, I am talking at the one where she will laugh at YOU. This can happen right in front of you or with her girlfriends (more often than not, it’s with her girlfriends. Yeah… we do that, sorry!).
There is a reason why there are so many jokes with women and dirty talk… it is not our daily cup of tea…