Sometimes in life you have to move on from one way of treating your friendships/relationships to another, a180 if you will. Last night I was clearly shown night and day with two different men, and this morning I have decided to change and tweak my behavior with each.
Let’s meet gentleman #1: I’ve known him for almost nine years. He likes to coach track and field, and from what I have deducted never really took school seriously (thinking of the future realistically). He and I have ventured from friends to friends with benefits. I was crazy about this guy, I would have done just about anything for him (thankfully I never did everything). But here’s the thing, during this epoch (because to be honest, it feels like an epoch) I have been lied to, used as the the back-up, “Oh, she didn’t want me. Let’s hook-up! It’ll make me feel better” (he never said it like that, but in all seriousness that was how it went down). This is not to say that we didn’t have fun times, but they are very hard to pinpoint… a time when I was asked of nothing and could breathe. We have different political view points (if like a more serious blog and like current events see my other blog loveandanthropology.wordpress.com), and enjoy life differently. This friendship has driven me up the wall. He asks of things which I would never dream of asking someone,maybe it’s a cultural thing. I basically think it’s manners… he might be overlooking them.
Gentleman #2: He did what he earned his degree in but then decided to do something that made him happy. He is now a writer, gives his time to a children’s hospital raising money etc., and works in the fitness field (amazing body, by the way!). He makes me feel wanted, and always knows what to say. He never asks for anything, and that makes me do things of my own freewill for him, and most importantly with a smile on my face. He likes to think of himself as just for me. I get to relax and have fun.
It’s pretty obvious from the the comparison of the two that one is night and the other day. I don’t want to be lied to anymore, have my feelings discarded, or have to explain social norms. I also don’t have time to help mend a broken heart for someone who doesn’t really want to mend it. There comes a time when you realize that you just have to be happy, one way or another, but never at the expense of another’s. Why should you think that your happiness is less important than another’s? It’s not. Just because you may seem to be stronger than that person doesn’t mean they get to shit all over you. You are the most important person.
I plan of pursuing all that I am capable of and all that I have postponed because I was thinking of others. This is me moving on. I hope you do too.