There are certain things which a man should keep to himself when he is with a woman, or trying to get with a woman. I completely agree when men say we women are complicated, because we are! But there are a few key things that we don’t want to be told, and the primary reason why is because it reflects on your lack of confidence and magnifies your neediness (which by the way, we don’t like -at all-). Over the years I have been astounded by the verbal diarrhea men say. Here are a few of the things we women would rather not hear from a guy we are interested in/hooking up with/or dating.
- I shaved my balls today. Uhhh… thanks?? Men, there is no right time EVER to tell a woman that you have manicured your nether regions, EVER. This does not make us want to say “Really?? Well, give me a minute and I’ll get over there to make sure they get the proper attention they need!” NO. We do however, appreciate your thoughtfulness of taking care of that area and I am sure vice versa. Believe me, this is only a turnoff and shows us how needy you are to have us praise you or your hairless balls.
- Compared to the other guys, how big is my penis? Listen, this may come as a shock, but we don’t sit down and sketch every dick we are introduced to. Unless you have pencil or a thumb for a dick we aren’t going to be able to tell you where you come in, and partly because we don’t care, YOU DO. Confidence, that’s what it boils down to. Don’t worry about the last guy, all you should worry about is that you perform your duties well (great actually, but I don’t want to place too much pressure here), and with confidence.
- So, was that the best you’ve ever had? Once again, please for the love of whatever you hold holy DON’T ASK US THAT. This usually happens the first time you both sleep together, and no, it’s not an ice breaker. We just finished (hopefully, with pun intended), the very last thing on our mind is placing a grade on your skills in the sack. Believe me, if you did well we will let you know. If not, well then we’ll probably stay quite, give you a kiss on the cheek, or if we are truly ballsy walk out (the last one is only when you know that spending that extra time in bed would only make you chew your arm off). Let us enjoy the amazing time we just spent with you, we’ll give you feedback if needed, trust me.
- This has never happened to me before. Here’s the thing, we already know that it has happened before and you looking like you just grew a third testicle is not helping the problem. Apologize, we aren’t vicious women who will eat you like the praying mantis will, we will understand. Ann Hathaway didn’t discard Jake Gyllenhaal in Love and Other Drugs, they laughed about it and moved on. Men who can laugh at awkward situations and understand that it’s not the end of the world are the men we want at the end of the day.
- Do you like it like this? Or like this? Unless you are putting a painting up and would like to know how we’d like it placed then please don’t. We don’t expect you to have us figured out the first time, or even the fourth time. But this is when you should pay attention closely because unless you’re with a girl who personifies a dead fish we will guide you in the direction of what we like. This in no way should take away from spontaneity, we love a good break from the usual! If we pull your hair a little, give ours a slight tug as well. If we hold you in a certain position work with it and listen to our response. We will let you know if something is not to our liking, I know you guys do as well.
But here is the truth of the matter, if we are already interested/hooking up/or dating you’ve obviously grasped our attention, so don’t reduce your chances by showing lack of confidence, or neediness. Looks aren’t everything; that gorgeous man over by the bar could easily lose the hot girl he is talking to by showing his insecurities. She might even mosey on down to the engineer with glasses who is confidently talking to another woman about his latest contribution to the mars project.
So show us the man you can be, and also just think before you say something. Today I am going to see the man who once uttered the words “I shaved my balls today” let’s hope he doesn’t say anything of the sort, because I’ll just have to walk out.
If there is anything you’d like to add please let me know! Happy Monday everyone 😉